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The Zoo 4: Stomachs
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The Zoo 4 - Stomachs (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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Live.ade
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1978-03-08
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5KB
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*!EOM
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2326Y00F07garmann23Y00J1Y00C5NThey're glad they chose to live with me.
0825Y00F11microknight08Y00C6NAnon
0806Y00J0N
0806Y00C2N1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats
0801N meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed
0801N holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks
0801N about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
0801N
0801N2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is
0801N asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate
0801N every morning.
0801N
0801N3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as
0801N you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards keep
0801N looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
0801N
0801N4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for
0801N your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised.
0801N Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like THEY were here again."
0801N
0801N5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in the
0801N stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
0801N
0801N6. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been
0801N watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that
0801N you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.
0801N
0801N7. Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you
0801N wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses.
0801N Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
0801N
0801N8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile
0801N them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are
0801N coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the
0801N consequences.
0801N
0801N9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about
0801N his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your
0801N roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.
0801N
0801N10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in
0801N training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
0801N
0801N11. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're
0801N going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack
0801N everything and go to sleep.
0801N
0801N12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Help! Where am I?!" and run
0801N around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate
0801N asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.
0801N
0801N13. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it
0801N and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
0801N
0801N14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the
0801N napkin. Throw everything else away.
0801N
0801N15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start
0801N to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with
0801N you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but
0801N keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
0801N
0801N16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops
0801N out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.
0801N
0801N17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats
0801N eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
0801N
0801N18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at
0801N your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
0801N
0801N19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and
0801N tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for
0801N several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take
0801N off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
0801N
0801N20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of
0801N the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of
0801N him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."
0801N
0801N21. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with
0801N a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
0801N
0801N22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't know how
0801N they got there.
0801N
0801N23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one
0801N pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
*!EOF